Silence is difficult but it is powerful in speech.
It hit me when I was at a meeting the other day. The person I was meeting with spoke quickly and with very few breaks. I was jotting down notes furiously, trying to take everything in. Every point he made seemed to be important because he peppered each phrase with exclamation marks.
I walked out with my head spinning. As I went through my notes I could roughly see what he was trying to say but it took time to work it out.
I wondered, what if he spoke less and allowed more space, more silence between the words. That made me think about the ‘Power of the Pause’ in conversation. The power of speaking less and being still for longer, giving room for the points just made.
A deliberate pause… can be one of our most valuable communication tools
Some people are very good at the pause, like Waleed Aly on The Project, or former President Obama. Then there’s Martin Luther King and his famous ‘I Have a Dream’ speech. He spoke slowly and deliberately.
A professional public speaker says approx. 145 to 160 words a minute while in conversation we rattle off up to 150 words per minute. Martin Luther King delivered about 90 words a minute. He spoke with power and authority. Each pause held his audience and still grips us today.
Others, not so, particularly when flustered. Watch a politician when they’re backed into a corner, they’ll fill any void with a string of nonsensical words and usually gesticulate wildly.
Those who are confident of their delivery allow space. They’re not afraid to let the pause hang in the air.
People who manage people are, or should be, good at pausing when they speak to make a point.
We don’t need to fill all the space between words, with words – there’s no need to be in such a rush. A deliberate pause… can be one of our most valuable communication tools.
When we pause, we breathe, which makes us a lot stronger both physically and mentally. It gives us a chance to clear our mind and think more intentionally.
Listening is a pause before a reply. When someone speaks, rather than jumping in, thinking you know what they’re going to say, take a few seconds to reply.
Try and be comfortable with the pause before replying or continuing to speak. It will give you a chance to think through what you’ve heard.
Never underestimate the power of the pause. Silence is difficult, but it is invaluable when we speak with someone. It gives you time to collect your thoughts, and the other person a chance to take in what you’re saying.
Mark Twain put it so eloquently when he said “the right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.”
Let the silence in and you’ll communicate a lot more clearly and powerfully.
