I recently saw a Marx Brothers movie in which Groucho Marx commented to his girlfriend who had caught him philandering with another woman: “Who are you going to believe – me or your lying eyes?”
The group watching it with me laughed at the comment and then began coming up with anecdotes about the eyes. I thought some of them might tickle the readers’ fancy.
Like the one about the renowned artist Pablo Picasso whose wife was slowly losing her sight. Picasso took her around the world to the best ophthalmologists and specialists on earth, but without success. He even took out newspaper advertisements offering enormous rewards to anyone who could help restore his wife’s vision. Then, one day he was contacted by a little known eye surgeon who performed an operation which was a complete success. “What is your fee? I will pay you anything,” Picasso told the surgeon.
The doctor insisted that his fee would be just the normal AUS$100. Picasso was nonplussed and told the doctor he would paint a mural on the doctor’s surgery as payment. When Picasso unveiled the mural it was a huge eye. To which the eye surgeon commented: “Thank goodness you didn’t need a proctologist”.
Who are you going to believe – me or your lying eyes?
But I particularly liked the one about the blind rabbit and blind snake who meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.
The rabbit says: “You feel me first.” The snake says okay and he starts feeling the rabbit. He says: “Well, you have fur all over and a little cotton tail and two long ears, and big back feet”. The rabbit says: “I know! I’m a rabbit! Yippee!” Then the rabbit feels the snake. He says: “Okay, you’re long and thin and slimy all over and there’s a little forked tongue…” To which the snake replies forlornly: “Oh no… I’m a politician.”